Are You Tired?

Is anyone else exhausted, or is it just me? I am tired of trying to get just the right picture to get the clicks. I am tired of trying to say just the right words so that everyone is pleased with me. I started reading a book yesterday called "Shallow: Drowning in the Shallow End of People’s Approval" by Jill Dasher, and it made me start thinking about why I do the things I do. Why do I write my books? Why do I do podcasts? Why do I post on social media? Is it really because I want to help people and glorify God, or is it because I want approval? Am I addicted to the accolades? Why do I worry that I will offend someone if I share my faith, or if I say something that may step on their toes?

When I woke up this morning, I went right to work, posting my podcast, and realizing there was a mistake in it. Then, trying to fix the mistake and hoping no one heard it. But what if they did, what if they heard the mistake, would that change the message of the podcast, or would it just ding my ego? I think the latter is the answer. Perfectionism is a hard and exhausting road. Perfectionism never allows you to rest. If you miss a detail or make a mistake, the world may just fall apart, or someone may stop loving you. God may decide that He made a mistake with you.

So, I decided I am done! I am done trying to win everyone’s approval. I am done trying not to offend someone. I am done holding back what I believe to be true, so someone who claims to be tolerant can express their opinion, but silence mine. I am done trying to appease everyone around me. I am tired. No, I am exhausted. I don’t want to be fake anymore to win the clicks or accolades; I want to glorify God. What does that look like? Right now, for me, I am not sure, but I am going to take the time to press into Him and find out. Maybe He will tell me my writing days are over. Maybe He will tell me to be real instead of trying to say what I think I should. I have a feeling that He will tell me to give my time and energy to those standing in front of me who genuinely care and need what He has placed within me, rather than those behind a screen or those I may never meet, and most of whom couldn't care less.